


Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter

by ShiningFantasyStar



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Accidents, Domestic Fluff, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21998617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiningFantasyStar/pseuds/ShiningFantasyStar
Summary: From a young age Inseong learns some things are inevitable. Sometimes responsibilities force you to make hard choices, yet that knowledge doesn't make it any easier. When he is seperated from the love of his life, he makes do with what he can, while he waits.
Relationships: Kim Inseong/Lee Jaeyoon
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28





	Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter

**Author's Note:**

> *** This work is part of the SF9 secret Santa gift exchange!! ***
> 
> I'm a little late, but I hope everyone's holiday's are going well.
> 
> *For Fei*

"Seong, I gotta go." 

"I know."

Inseong's downcast gaze finds itself focused on the spec of mud on Jaeyoon's typically spotless shoes. The cold winter air nips at his exposed neck and ears. The tips of his ears redden with the cold to match his softly flushed cheeks. Inseong clutches desperately at Jaeyoon's long white coat, and Jaeyoon wraps his warm hands around his. 

"This is the final call for the train heading to Seoul- please board now as the train will depart in four minutes." The upbeat voice booms from the speakers, contrasting the cold of winter and of the situation Inseong finds himself in. 

"Go, Jaeng. You have things to do, you can't be late." 

Inseong bites back his tears, he can't look into his boyfriend's eyes because he knows it will be a stab to his heart. To his heart which is already breaking into pieces, mended only by Jaeyoon's warmth. 

Jaeyoon's small sigh makes a puff of air in front of him. He tugs Inseong into a short but tight embrace, that seems to say it all. Inseong nuzzles into his neck, his cold face making Jaeyoon shiver. He squeezes Inseong tighter, trying to minimize the space between them for a few seconds. 

Hesitantly they pull away from each other, leaving a distinct rush of cold where warmth once was. Jaeyoon pecks Inseong's forehead and whispers a gentle "I love you". Inseong, still unable to look up, replies with a shaky "I love you too, " and bites his quivering lip. 

It all happens so fast, too fast for Inseongs liking. Jaeyoon boards his train, waves like a madman from his window, before the train departs speeding off. The people who said goodbye to their relatives slowly disperse from the platform, leaving Inseong behind, stuck staring down the tracks. 

"Come back soon." 

Inseong whispers, and turns leaving his footprints in the snow. Small and insignificant, surrounded by various others, all blending together. 

"Mari get up, you'll be late for school." 

Inseongs voice booms through the house. To any passerby he may sound threatening; to his sisters it's just another routine. 

"You know the more you yell, the more she'll treat it as a challenge" 

Hyunjin muzes from across the table, head stuck in her comic as she munches on her slice of toast. Her hair is brushed down for once, and Inseong cringes how much she needs a haircut. At least if she wanted her hair to grow healthily. 

"Well then, since you're both so smart, I'll eat all the bacon and eggs myself. You can eat your toast with butter." 

At the horrific proposal Inseong had offered, Hyunjin screeches, jumping from the table and dashing to their shared room. Nothing was more intimidating than not getting her brothers delicious food for breakfast. It seems to be the only battering chip Inseong has, at least for the older, to drive them into action. The countless hours he spent on youtube browsing recipes for Jaeyoon back in university have paid off. Not only was Jaeyoon head over heels for his cooking, Inseong found a passion he could work towards to forget his own reality. 

_"You can cook!" Jaeyoon squealed._

_His cute big eyes widened even more than Inseong thought possible. It was their third date, when Inseong finally decided to open up to Jaeyoon more, and show him his vulnerable side. Otherwise he felt he'd be deceiving someone who, so quickly melted his heart and became an important part of his daily routine._

_"Its spaghetti… It's not science fiction."_

_Inseong felt the rush of blood to his cheeks, so he swiftly threw both palms to his face. Back then he truly didn't know how to handle compliments. Especially those he knew where earnest._

_"Seongie~ what do you mean! This is better than everything I've had in years! We are never going out to eat at a restaurant ever again!"_

_Jaeyoon declared, puffing his cheeks and frowning. The pout didn't last long before Jaeyoon grinned, catching Inseong's flustered gaze. His dazzling grin revealed a hint of sauce, clinging to Jaeyoon's lips. Completely mesmerized, Inseong reached out and gentle wiped the tomato sauce, sucking it off his finger._

_"You're right, it does taste better than I thought. But we should still go out sometimes… "_

_The realization of the weight of his actions hit him like a ton of bricks. His own eyes widen as he jumps back in his seat, startled. He catches Jaeyoon's eyes, which hold a spark of desire in them. His whole body burns up, the implications and sudden intimacy of the moment, flushing his cheeks._

_"I- um!"_

_Jaeyoon just smiled at Inseong, showcasing his dimples, studying his face silently. He finally broke his gaze in favour of spooning a large scoop of spaghetti in his mouth, rather sloppily._

_"Oops. I got sauce on my face again. Would you mind helping me out?"_

_Jaeyoon asked, ever so innocently, inching his face forward over the table. Inseong squirmed with embarrassment in his seat. Even so, he slowly reached out to wipe Jaeyoon's lips. The second his finger picked up the viscous sauce, Jaeyoon caught his wrist, and slowly pulled Inseong's finger to his lips. He licked off the sauce, without breaking eye contact for a second, sending chills down Inseong's back. His stomach seemed to crash against his body, heating up with arousal. Jaeyoon was being so hot, and such a tease, that Inseong might just have exploded. Jaeyoon childishly kissed Inseong's palm before letting him go again._

Inseong smiles at the memory. Jaeyoon has always proven his warmth burns warmer when it comes to Inseong. Oh how he misses cooking food for Jaeyoon. 

Inseong finishes plating the hot food and Hyunjin triumphantly plops back into her seat. Shortly after, a tired and pouty Mari follows in her steps, slipping in the chair next to her sister. Her mood instantly lifts however, when Inseong slides the smiley faced bacon and eggs towards them. 

The three fall into silence eating, after thanking for their meals. Inseong cups his cheeks and watches the two younger girls, and immense sense of pride hits him watching the two. He sips his lukewarm coffee, reminiscing of the mornings his mother looked more tired than him today, preparing breakfast for himself and father. He smiles at the photograph littered wall, and hopes that his parents would be proud of him today. The flowers on the shelves seem to be wilting, which Inseong makes a mental note of. Pink carnations were his mother's favorite. He should take better care of them. 

As usual the girls finish their breakfast, thanking Inseong and gathering their plates at the sink. Reasonably, Inseong should make them help with the clean up. But he loves spoiling them, and with him working from home, it really doesn't bother him. He hugs them at the door before they leave for school, Hyunjin reminding him she will be home late because of her date. He waves them off and watches them turn the corner towards the subway station, and closes the door once they're out of sight. He's truly glad that even though Hyunjin is turning eighteen soon, she still accepts their routine of affection without embarrassment. 

Inseong pours the rest of his now cold coffee into the sink and washes up after breakfast. He glances at his sisters schedules, and then his own. Nothing too out of the ordinary daily lives catches his attention. Good, he can work while the girls are studying. He retreats to his cramped, attic room office, clustered with photographs of himself and Jaeyoon. His muse, his strength, his everything. No matter how hard things seem, Jaeyoon makes everything better. 

He scans the forums for recipes; popular trends, rising culinary hacks, reemerging interest in old deserts and reimagined classics. He vigorously takes thorough notes, saves links to particular pages and adds his own thoughts as an after word. He colour-codes his notes on food he'd personally try, something for the girls, and the fullest colour of all, for his cookbook. Curating culinary books isn't easy, and Inseong feels double the pressure as he's finally writing a cookbook of his own. He thanks himself for keeping that food blog going; it gave him enough exposure and following to keep working like this. It also gives him plenty of opportunities to expand his own knowledge. 

His phone rings, startling Inseong from his thoughts. He dashes down the stairs, knocking a few of his neat piles of notes off the desk. He finds it forgotten it in the kitchen, nearing the end of its ring cycle. In favor of not letting it drop the call, Inseong answers, mildly out of breath. 

"Hello, Seongie, my love." 

Jaeyoon's sweet voice fills his ears, and Inseong instantly melts. Inseong counts back to the last call, about a week ago, where Jaeyoon tiredly spoke of the amount of upcoming work. 

"Jaeng," Inseong hesitates, there are too many words he always wants to say to his boyfriend, all seemingly shying away from being spoken. "I love you," he finally says through a smile. 

Jaeyoon's breath across the phone conveys the smile creeping up across Jaeyoon's own face.

"I love you too. Always." Jaeyoon's voice softens with fondness, the way it always does, filling Inseong with a strong sense of longing. He misses Jaeyoon so, so much. "Is this a bad time?" 

"I was working on that book, but I like hearing your voice better. Aren't you busy?" 

It's Jaeyoon's turn to hesitate, as he audibly shuffles his position in his chair. The leather sound confirms he is in his office. Jaeyoon taps his pen against the desk, creating a rhythmic, barely audible sound. 

"I have some big news actually. I'm almost finished here, I'm coming home."

Inseongs heart practically leaps from his chest. A powerful wave of emotions washes over him; his thoughts fumble over each other, preventing him from constructing a coherent sentence. His heart beats at a steady, quick beat, rushing excitement through his body. His hands shake a little, and his breath staggers, coercing Inseong to tentatively pull on his sleeve. 

"Really?" he finally manages, voice shaking with excitement. "When..? For how long..?" 

Jaeyoon too, clearly emotional on the other end takes a calming breath. "This Saturday. And I'm coming back forever."

Inseong nearly drops his phone. He's been waiting so long for this, for Jaeyoon, he's seen so many winters. Too many winters. 

"What time is your train? I'll meet you at the station." 

"I actually was thinking- the Lantern festival? It's on this Saturday right? Will you wait for me by the bench we had our first kiss? You remember right?" 

"Of course I remember," Inseong pouts, glancing at the schedules once again. How had he missed the festival? "Why there?" 

"Well, you'll just have to wait and find out." Jaeyoon teases. "I have to go, but meet me there at eight p.m."

"Okay, I love you," and for once Inseong can't believe he can finally say it: "see you soon." 

"I love you too, Seongie. See you soon."

The call ends and Inseong's entire body deflates, sculpting a mold of the chair he was perched on. He touches his cheeks finding wetness there. Somehow the realization that he has been crying, releases the floodgates, and he weeps clutching his phone to his chest. All the troubles he's faced, which Jaeyoon could only comfort him with his soft voice, all the nights he woke up alone, starving for his touch. All the times he felt tired, suffocated by his daily routine. They all pass through his mind, like distinct orbs of light. 

Inseong remembers the call he received from the police station. 

_Panicked, sweat covered, he ran into the station. The secretary tried to catch his attention, yet he ran right past her to the two small girls, clutching onto each other in tears. He pulled them into a tight hug, fighting back tears of his own. Both of them refused to speak, sobbing into Inseong's embrace. Their clothes were covered in muck, and stains which look like dried blood. He prayed it wasn't blood, and that his eyes were just playing tricks on him between the mud and lighting. He noticed Mari had a rather large bandaid on her left cheek, prompting him to scan Hyunjin for any serious injuries. He found a few bruises on her arms and more bandaids._

_"What's this all about? he asked, searching for a reason as to why his sisters were alone and injured at the station. Mild anger filtered into his tone, but he bit it back, trying not to startle the already shaken girls._

_The woman, appearing no older than in her mid twenties, handed him a glass of water and instructed him to wait for the sergeant for more information._

_Inseong tried texting his parents, letting them know they're safe at the station. Hyunjin clung unto his shirt, weeping even harder when she saw Inseong's phone. He assumed she was scared to be in trouble, and of the situation they found themselves in. Yet there was a nasty feeling growing in his gut, and the lack of an answer from his parents only added to his unease. He was missing a few university lectures, but nothing was more important than his family. It felt like an hour had passed before the chief, a big and balding man, stood out of the office and welcomed Inseong in. The secretary offered to buy the girls hot cocoa and take care of them while they talked. Hyunjin searched for approval before following the woman, keeping the younger Mari close to her. Both of their eyes are red, their cheeks puffed and swollen from crying._

_"Inseong Kim, correct? The older brother of those sweet little girls. Can you confirm your age?" The sergeant began, as soon as he closed the door, leading Inseong to his seat._

_"That's correct. I'm nineteen years old, as of this July. What's this all about?" He asked, biting down his nerves, fiddling with a loose string of his jumper._

_The sergeant gave him a pitying look, the kind that showcases his inability to help._

_"You're parents have been involved in a fatal car crash, there is no easy way of telling you this… your sister's are the sole survivors."_

_Inseong's head spun, so violently as if he was on a carousel, which only sped up. He felt sick, close to throwing up any second. Tears blurred his vision, as he shakily pulled up his phone, barely navigating it to his parents registry. Neither of his parents picked up, after he tried calling both numerous times. It was slowly sinking in, he was alone, so soon after becoming an adult._

_"It's terrible, such a young age. "_

_"He's still a child himself, how can he take care of those children."_

_Constant comments from others around him wounded his heart. However he continued working hard; he needed to raise Hyunjin and Mari as best he could. He loved them beyond words, and wanted to give them what their parents gave to him. He continued university, while working in part time jobs to sustain his house and sisters. It was the hardest thing Inseong had done, however if he quit university early, he would have never met Jaeyoon._

Inseong shakes his head, why must he think back to that time every time he cries or is overwhelmed? His stomach fills with butterflies, and excitement, awaiting for Saturday to come. He wipes off his tears, fixing the state of the chair and the kitchen table before waddling to his room and changing his clothes. He's aware of every second, and every minute that slowly lounges by. 

Inseong throws himself into work, hoping that it will make time pass faster. It doesn't. He finishes early; giving himself strict workloads per day working against his favor. He sighs, spinning in his chair idly. He could prepare Jaeyoon's favourite cookies, or maybe even meals. 

That's how he finds himself in the kitchen, each counter stuffed with cakes and sweet treats, and three dinners prepared and stored away. Mari returns first, straight after school, wide eyes shining at the treats. She's shell-shocked, and Inseong truly can't blame her. 

Once Hyunjin returns, they eat dinner in the living room, copious amounts of deserts blocking their kitchen table. Inseong shares the news with them, at which they shine excitedly. 

"No wonder you cooked so much!" Hyunjin beams. 

"Is Jaeyoon really coming home to stay? I really missed him." Mari shyly chips in, and in that moment, Inseong realises he isn't the only one waiting on Jaeyoon's return. He has never considered how both his sisters see Jaeyoon. Yes they are comfortable with him, they've been together for so long now, the girls must see him as family. 

"That's what he said," Inseong ponders. "I truly hope so too." He tries to hide his worried face with a strained smile, but Hyungjin catches his eyes and she knows. In a desperate attempt to redirect the attention off himself, Inseong calls for desert, using the excuse of them becoming too stale before Jaeyoon arrives. 

The week itself slowly passes. At first, Inseong is a bundle of nerves, cleaning and preparing more deserts. Hyunjin and Mari continue on their routines, occasionally planning out surprises for Jaeyoon or places they'd like to go together. It makes Inseong smile, it warms his heart so much to see the two so excited. He pulls them into a surprise hug, squeezing them close. Hyunjin laughs, while Mari yelps and struggles feigning annoyance. Inseong discreetly wipes his few tears before letting them go, turning back to the stir fry he was cooking. 

Once he manages to slip back into his daily routine, the days no longer drag. He finally convinces Hyunjin to get a haircut; which she decides to change drastically, cutting her hair at the base of her neck. It's different, Inseong thinks. It highlights her playful and childlike personality which Inseong adores. Somewhere deep down he worries that, being almost an adult meant she's mature, yet somehow this eased his worries. Even though he's watched them grow, he still sees them, and sometimes treats them, like the two small eleven and nine year olds he had to take care of at nineteen. Mari catches Inseong smiling at them across the table, and sticks out her tongue. Unlike Hyungjin, Mari deserves all the toddler treatment, since she seems to always act like one. Inseong sighs, grateful that he can relax in their routine like this. 

Inseong prepares pancakes, a celebratory breakfast routine they've fallen into. Even though it is a Saturday morning, Hyunjin and Mari are both awake suspiciously early. Part of it can be attributed to the smell of pancakes of course, but with the way they are smiling at Inseong, there's something more. Still, they eat their pancakes in relative silence, only speaking up when they need more sauce or pancakes. They snicker silently between each other when they catch their line of sight. 

As soon as they finish breakfast, they scatter, leaving behind their plates. Inseong calls after them, offended that they'd leave such a mess. He gets no response, and neither Hyunjin or Mari make a move to return to the kitchen. Inseong mumbles to himself and shoves more pancakes into his mouth. He's just about to stand from the kitchen table when Mari runs in, urging Inseong to sit down. He protests, using the dishes as an excuse to get up. Mari retorts that they have a surprise and he should wait a little. So he does, glancing around the kitchen, proud of the way they organized the deserts to give enough space to eat in the kitchen. They ate a bunch over the week, which helped them reduce the space they took up. 

Hyunjin and Mari drag an old, wooden case into the kitchen. The gold designs engraved in the corners and lock shine under the kitchen light, even though they are covered in dust. Inseong instantly recognizes the case as the one passed down through his family, which he used to store their parent's belongings. Inseong knows that it weighs a ton; its a traditional chest filled with various items. He's simultaneously amused, impressed and mildly worried that they lugged this down alone. Their eyes hold determined glints as they smile at Inseong. Mari lets out a big huff, tired of the physical labor. Inseong shoots them a questioning look, raising an eyebrow. 

"Alright," Hyunjin huffs, "we are dolling you up for your date. You can't refuse, after we worked so hard to get this crate here. Also, you want to look your best for Jaeyoon right~t." 

Inseong chuckles covering his wide spread lips. "This is what all the secrecy was about. I trust your judgment stylists Kim Hyungjin and Kim Mari." 

"We are at your service, valued customer." Mari and Hyunjin beam, stars in their eyes. Mari follows Inseong's concerned eyes to the table, full of plates and cups. "Don't worry, we'll wash up today, you just enjoy your pampering."

True to their word, Hyunjin collects all the plates and begins washing up while Mari wipes the table. Satisfied with the lack of sauce on its surface, Mari hauls various make-up and beauty items on the table. Hyunjin also finishes her task and begins clipping Inseongs hair away from his face. 

They begin by giving him a face mask, cleansing his skin thoroughly and preparing him for a face full of makeup. Hyunjin gives Inseong a smokey light pink eye, which Inseong initially opposed to. After seeing his reflection, he is very excited and impressed with Hyunjin's handiwork. Mari interrupts him, ordering him to brush his teeth before she works on his lipstick. The serious glint in her eye pushes him to follow her order without question. He hasn't seen the girls this fired up over something before; he smiles while brushing his teeth, this must mean a lot to them. 

Inseong rarely uses lip balm, so it's hard to contain his laugh when Mari applies his lipstick. She grumbles threats under her breath, hitting Inseong's arm every now and then. Hyunjin stares at him over Mari's shoulder, equally threatening that if he cries with laughter her work will be ruined. Somehow, he barely pulls through the tortuous hours of trying not to laugh and getting scolded. The soft, pale pink lipstick is barely visible, blended into perfection, yet it complements Hyunjin's choice of eyeshadow flawlessly.

While the two bicker over the way they should style his hair, Inseong stares at his own reflection in the tiny mirror. He can recognize himself, yes, though he feels like a completely different person stares back. He hasn't had the time to pamper his own appearance, and seeing himself like this, he doesn't know how to feel. It's a mixture of embarrassment, at the lack of care he'd given himself and awe at the effect and hard work of his loving sisters. The girls seem to have agreed on a style, with Mari grabbing the hair iron and Hyunjin collecting various clips, hair brushes, combs and various products. None of which Inseong remembers buying. 

They straighten his ash brown hair to lay smoothly down his head, the fringe drooping over his eyebrows. Mari takes to making sure the back of his head is smooth, while Hyunjin wisps out his fringe. Inseong isn't sure how they do it, but they reshaped his entire hairstyle without cutting his hair. With no warning, they use product and hairspray, causing Inseong to choke. 

"A warning next time," Inseong coughs, glancing up at Mari. 

With no look of remorse, she replies, "you shouldn't space out then."

"Since when are you so authoritative," Inseong pouts, getting a cheshire like grin from both of them. 

"Hair and makeup is done," Hyunjin muses while Mari puts away some of the products. Inseong stands to stretch his legs, finally released from sitting still. He considers what to wear for the night, but as if she read his mind, Hyunjin casually adds: "oh and we have your outfit planned too." 

Mari retrieves their fathers' wedding hanbok from the old case. The jeogori's bright blue silk shines under the light, the fabric carefully preserved by Inseong. It's a cherished item he never dreamed of using. The fabric is smooth against his fingers, now that he is holding it up close he observes the intricate embroidery. His slowly traces the patterns, which feel like gentle bumps under his skin. The golden centerpiece and shoulder pads, are covered with engravings of dragons and cranes, among other smaller symbols. The batji are loose, and are a pure dark purple colour with no design. 

Inseong dresses into the hanbok as best he can. It is tricky; both the lack of usage of the traditional clothes, and the emotional value of the fabric. It takes him about half an hour to dress into it, finding it fits on his body quite well, minus the sleeves falling just slightly short. After he leaves his room, his sisters adjust the hanbok, and his styling helping him put on the belt, which loosely hangs around his waist. 

"How do I look?" Inseong nervously asks, curling his fingers around the edges of his sleeves. The girls both smile, looking at each other and Inseong.

"Amazing!" Mari beams, admiring the details they've worked on. 

"I don't think you've ever looked better," Hyunjin teases, snatching her phone from the table. "Picture~ Picture~ Picture" she sing-songs. 

Hyunjin takes numerous photos. Inseong does his best to 'model' for her, following her directions even though he doesn't like taking pictures. He tries to picture the puppy eyes Jaeyoon always shows him when asking for a picture; the same pictures that now cover his office rooms. It relaxes him, softening his features. It makes for some great photos, according to Hyunjin, who proudly checks over them. They finish with some group photos, serious, smiling and silly, with finger hearts and peace signs and whatever else they could think of. 

The girls wave him off at the door, telling him they'll have a movie night while he's gone. Inseong doesn't worry about them, he knows that they will do just that, and he's always a phone call away. He takes the subway as always, avoiding cars for obvious reasons. It's more crowded than usual, with the festival already in full swing. He blends with the other people in the carriage; all wearing beautiful colorful hanbok. 

The festival food stalls smell amazing, enticing any passerby to buy the sweet or savoury treats. Inseong's stomach grumbles a little, but he decides to wait for Jaeyoon before he gets anything. Hyunjin and Mari would murder him if he ate something and ruined his make up. 

Children around him run, giggling as they chase each other. Others, more shy, cling to their parents, jealously eyeing the playing children. Inseong finds the bench amidst the chaos and music five minutes early to their meeting time. It hasn't changed much; it has been repainted to a darker colour, while the trees behind it stand a little taller. He drags his fingers across the surface, checking for dirt and wetness before sitting down. The lacquered wood is smooth and cool, unlike the humid mid October air. 

Inseong plays with his fingers as he waits, hands nervously clasped together. The night deepens, and the festival music slowly filters past Inseong's ears, but there's no sign of Jaeyoon. He refuses to budge, knowing Jaeyoon will come looking for him. Rationally, he knows his train could be delayed, or he is having a hard time getting through the crowds. Yet emotionally, it prickles like rose thorns under his skin. The air doesn't chill, but a shiver runs down Inseong's spine from sitting still. 

Inseong watches the lanterns rise into the sky, little flames like stars, shining through the night sky. Each little lantern contains a wish, or a prayer made by it's sender. It's beautiful. The little lights reflect in the stream, blurred and obscured by the gently flowing water. It reminds Inseong of the cherry blossom petals flowing downstream. The lanterns disappear, marking the end of the festival and the crowds begin dispersing. He absentmindedly follows the crowds, envying their happy smiles. 

"Seong!" 

Hearing his name yelled startles him. He instantly jumps from his seat, instantly recognizing the voice as Jaeyoon's. He searches the crowds, looking for his beloved boyfriend. 

"Jaeyoon?! Jaeyoon, where are you?" 

He yells back, getting an instant answer from Jaeyoon. It's a little childish, searching for each other by constantly calling each others names. He finally spots him; lugging an enormous suitcase and another smaller backpack. He's dressed in a loose white shirt, and well fitting black jeans. Inseong dashes towards him, his rapid footsteps alerting the other, giving him seconds to react to the hug. 

Jaeyoon's warm arms instantly wrapped around Inseong's slender figure, pulling him close. Jaeyoon's cologne has a distinct spicy smell that kicks like ginger. He can't help but notice how much Jaeyoon's arms and body seems to have firmed up. He must have been working out a lot. Inseong's eyes brim with tears, he does everything he can to ward off the emotional flood running through his body. 

They break apart just enough to look into the others eyes. Jaeyoon smiles and gently wipes the few stray tears rolling down Inseong's cheek. He's trying his best not to cry too, evoking a wobbly smile from Inseong. 

"Your hair," Inseong finally chokes out, surprised by the pure white contrasting to Jaeyoon's tan skin. He reaches into it with his fingers, smoothing through the strands. "And your jawline." He whispers, tracing a line on Jaeyoon's face. It seems to be much more defined, which Inseong didn't think possible. 

"And you look so beautiful," Jaeyoon whispers, eyes traveling from Inseong's hair to his face and finally down to Inseong's clothes. "Is that.." he trails off, surprised, pink blush spreading at the implication of Inseong's clothes. 

"Hyunjin and Mari planned this." Inseong looks away, slightly embarrassed. 

Jaeyoon cups his cheek, gently pulling his head back to face him. Their eyes meet; Jaeyoon's soft brown eyes looking fondly into Inseong's. "I'm glad they did. It suits you. You were always beautiful, but this… I'm so lucky."

Inseong pulls Jaeyoon closer to him again, softly pressing his lips against the others. Jaeyoon instantly responds, softly kissing back, one hand firmly on the small of Inseong's back while the other softly thumbs his cheek. Deprived of Jaeyoon's gentle touches for so long, Inseong feels every single kiss in double intensity. He gets goosebumps from Jaeyoon's hands softly caressing him. The emotions finally overwhelm him and he breaks the kiss with his sobs. Jaeyoon allows him to rest his face on the shoulder of his expensive looking shirt. He kisses his temple, and hair before pressing his cheek against Inseongs head. 

"I looked pretty long enuff" Inseong sniffs from Jaeyoon's shoulder, "now I can look like a vengeful bride's ghost." 

Jaeyoon laughs, rubbing little circles into Inseong's back. "Without looking, I can guarantee you, you look more outstanding than anyone to ever walk this earth."

"Exactly, because ghosts can't walk, " Inseong laughs a little, sniffing again. "Sorry about your shirt." 

"Do you really think I care about this shirt more than you?" Jaeyoon asks, poking Inseong's cheek. 

The finally pull apart, Inseong instantly grabs one bag to help Jaeyoon, while he takes the other. With his free hand, he takes Inseongs leading the way. "I want to stop by somewhere first," Jaeyoon answers his confused look. 

Inseong knows this road by heart, but allows Jaeyoon to lead the way nonetheless. They don't speak much, exchanging small smiles and hand squeezes. Jaeyoon offers to take the bag Inseong is carrying a few times, but stops after being declined each time. Jaeyoon's thumb constantly moves around the back of Inseong's palm. It's comforting, like the soft kisses they've exchanged.

Jaeyoon pauses before the black marble stone; Inseong's parent's grave. Jaeyoon has listened to Inseong talk to his parent's grave before; never in the presence of anyone but Jaeyoon. He had to be strong for his sisters, but not in front of Jaeyoon. Inseong silently watches as Jaeyoon drops to his knees retrieving a bouquet of pink carnations and a box of incense from his bag. He offers the flowers and lights the incense before speaking. 

"Mr and Mrs Kim" he begins softly, loud enough for Inseong to hear without effort. "I am in no way worthy enough for a man like your son. I am inadequate in many ways, and I couldn't be there for him when he needed me. But I can assure you that I love him, with my whole honest heart. I want to be with him, for winters to come, for seasons to come, and never leave his side again. I want to wake up next to him in the mornings, remember how lucky I am, and strive to be better." Jaeyoon chokes with emotion. "That's why I'm kneeling before you today, begging for your blessings. Begging for permission, no, for a chance to be Inseong's 'one and only', while he is mine." Jaeyoon lifts his head, tearfilled, looking into Inseong's eyes, making sure he witnesses every single word: "because I've never loved anyone like I love your son."

Inseong drops to his knees, engulfing Jaeyoon in his arms. His chest aches, yet is filled with so much love. Jaeyoon wraps his arms around Inseong too, trying to stifle his own sobs. 

"I love you so much Inseong." he whimpers softly into his ears. "Even if the stars fall, and the sun dies out I'll still love you."

"I love you too, you big dummy." Inseong squeezes him harder. "I think my parents would have given you the blessing. They would have loved you, I'm sure of it."

Jaeyoon smiles through his tears, tracing his gentle touch across Inseong's back. He wiggles away enough to kiss Inseong again; sweet, gentle and filled with unspoken" I love yous". 

Inseong stirs awake, warmly tucked in Jaeyoon's arms. He turns, and shuffles closer into his arms, doing his best not to rouse the other. The white tank top loosely hangs over Jaeyoon's well built upper body, teasing Inseong with peeks of his abs and muscles. Yet it's the fluffy cat pyjama bottoms, and the angelically peaceful sleeping face that ground Inseong in reality. He inspects the ring sitting snugly on his ring finger. A thin spiraling silver band, styled as rose vines without thorns, adorned with a single crimson stone which sparkles at any angle. Inseong can see Jaeyoon's own ring; a much thicker band, perfectly placed, double spiraling vines. It doesn't have a crimson gem like Inseong's, instead, the silver bands are tinted with a hint of crimson. 'Promise rings' Jaeyoon had called them. A promise of forever and always. 

Inseong can't hold himself any longer, placing a quick kiss on Jaeyoon's nose. He looks so cute and kissable, but Inseong has breakfast to make. Upset that Jaeyoon is fast asleep and he won't convince Inseong to stay in bed longer, he slowly pulls his body to the ledge.

Inseong has half a slipper on his foot, when a strong arm catches him around his waist. Hot lips latch onto his shoulder blade. Jaeyoon sucks down a little, dragging his tongue in a line towards Inseongs neck. 

"Where do you think you're going," Jaeyoon mumbles into Inseong's neck, in a gruff sleep filled voice. 

Inseong shivers at the contact. "To make breakfast."

Jaeyoon weighs Inseong's words, not letting go of his grip on his waist. He sighs, face not moving from Inseong's neck. "Can't I have you instead?" he asks, kissing down on Inseong's neck. 

Inseong's breath hitches. Jaeyoon's offer does sound very, very tempting. But there are two goblins in the house called Hyunjin and Mari, who probably would start a war without breakfast. "If you want my sisters to continue to like you, you'll have to let me cook breakfast."

Jaeyoon sighs, loosening his grip on Inseong. He does his best to hide the pout when he says: "then give me a proper good morning kiss." 

Without hesitation, Inseong twists around, hands on Jaeyoon's cheeks and kisses him softly. Jaeyoons hands find themselves on Inseongs hips, steadily tugging him closer. He slyly licks at Inseong's lips, coaxing him to part them more. Their kiss becomes sloppier, more heated, hands exploring every part of the others body. 

Inseong lets out a small, muffled moan and Jaeyoon takes it as queue to lie back down, pulling Inseong on top of him. Inseong panics a little at the new position he's found himself in, straddling Jaeyoon. 

Jaeyoon instantly breaks the kiss, looking fondly into Inseong's eyes. "If you're uncomfortable we can stop here, Seongie."

The signature red blush spreads across Inseong's face. The hot butterflies already fluttering in his gut, spreading arousal across his body. "Time…" Inseong mumbles, "a little more." 

He slams his lips back to Jaeyoon's a little forcefully, taking the other by surprise. He repropricates it, almost unable to catch up to Inseong's passion. Inseong breaks the kiss, leaving a trail of hard kisses down Jaeyoon's neck, biting down a little harder when Jaeyoon moans. Jaeyoon slips one hand under Inseong's shirt, teasing his skin with gentle patterns. 

Inseong glances at the clock. With the last ounces of clear thinking, his kisses Jaeyoons forehead softly, and slowly pulls away. "Breakfast, " he mumbles, appreciating the melted state of Jaeyoon, still on the bed. "You can rest for another half hour."

Inseong would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about some invisible tension creeping into their lives. Yet, with how his sisters enthusiastically question Jaeyoon about his life in Seoul, while they all eat waffles eases those worries. Sure, now they're back to sharing one bathroom between four people, but it truly doesn't make that much of a difference. Mari falls silent, clearly bothered by something. Judging by the faces she's making, she's considering how to ask a difficult question. 

"Why did you have to leave for work?" she finally asks, eyes shining with wetness. 

Inseong falls still and silent, unable to look at Jaeyoon. It's something that pained him ever since that winter day, just a week before Jaeyoon's departure. 

Jaeyoon puts his fork down, giving the subject his full attention. "Remember when Hyunjin slipped and fell badly, needing surgery? At that time, we had some difficulty paying the costs on top of that. I remembered an offer I got from a company in Seoul. The wages were better, much better. So without telling Inseong I reached out to them, asking if it was still possible."

Anger crosses Mari's face, while Hyunjin looks guilty. It's hard to guess what they're thinking, but Inseong guesses it's akin to his own repressed feelings of loneliness. 

"That's not to say you are to blame, Hyunjin." Inseong speaks up, pang of hurt hitting his chest at her expression. "There was also added pressure from Jaeyoon's side of the family. They felt he was wasting his time and talent here, with me." Inseong smiles bitterly at the harsh words he received from Jaeyoon's mother. "Letting Jaeyoon move away then, was to help all of us somehow."

Jaeyoon laces his fingers with Inseong's, apology and hurt evident in his eyes. He rubs small circles with his thumb. 

"I've talked to my family many times." Jaeyoon apologizes, "over the last three years, they've given up on trying to control me. But I won't stop until they accept us, and the two of you. I love the three of you like family."

Both the girls visibly calm down. Jaeyoon's earnest words meeting their troubled and repressed feelings like a cure. 

"I didn't know there was so much going on" Hyunjin comments, before silently resuming eating. 

Inseong observes Mari, the younger, and more emotionally driven of the two. She aggressively wipes her eyes, refusing to cry. Before Inseong can move to comfort her, she speaks up. 

"If you leave again," she bites her lip trying to look tough, "I won't forgive you as easily next time. So please… just don't leave again."

She stuffs a huge piece of waffle into her mouth, and chomps it down. Jaeyoon smiles, squeezing Inseongs hand, but looking straight at Mari. "I won't, I promise."

"So what's it like having kids?" Inseong asks, teasing Jaeyoon during one of their many shared dish-washing sessions. October finishes, and November passes with them in this domestic routine of theirs. 

"If you look at it from my point of view, I've had a child since second year of uni." Jaeyoon sticks his tongue out when Inseong frowns. "But honestly, it's great. I missed them." 

Inseong smiles, dunking another plate under the water. Time seems to flow much faster with Jaeyoon around the house. Jaeyoon has taken up a job at a local grocery store, following various protests from Inseong. Nevertheless, the few moments of intimacy they get together, they cherish. Every single touch, every soft kiss and every hug, lights sparks in Inseong's chest. If the way Jaeyoon always lingers against him is any indication, he feels the same. 

"Jaeng… Do you… Do you really think I could pull it off? The whole bakery thing." Inseong pauses his washing up, staring at his distorted reflection is the soapy water. 

"I know you can!" Jaeyoon beams so passionately. "Your cakes are amazing!" 

"Still, using the money you've saved to invest in a bakery. It's too risky." Inseong whines a little. 

Jaeyoon has been trying to convince him for the past month and a half, ever since he arrived. He feels some guilt; his resistance to the idea is what caused Jaeyoon to get the grocery store job. Not that there's anything shameful about it, he himself worked in one many times, he just feels like he forcefully demoted his boyfriend. Perhaps he is just insecure, knowing that's how his family view him. 

"We could start small?" Jaeyoon ponders out loud. "If you feel renting a small shop is too risky as a start, we could do it from home?" 

"That is much more reasonable," Inseong speaks resuming the washing up, "but how do you expect people to order things?" 

"Seong, you are overthinking. Winter holidays are around the corner, lots of people want pretty, delicious cakes, but don't have time to bake. We can do a viewing and tasting day! It will give people an idea of what they can expect."

Inseong still has his doubts, will enough people come? Won't it be too much for them? He glances at Jaeyoon, who radiates confidence and pride and sighs. 

"Any opportunity to work with my boyfriend on anything, is the best decision I could ever make," Jaeyoon smiles with his big sunny smile, dimples blooming in his features. He hums softly, an ost from a drama he's watched, allowing Inseong to think.

Inseong makes them each hot chocolate and wraps himself in a blanket (and by extent, Jaeyoon's arms). The movie they're watching is just background noise to Inseong's thoughts. He has held himself back before, and been held back, he regrets it. Still, fears of failure whisper arguments to his thoughts. 

"Let's do it" Inseong whispers, realizing the movie is approaching its climax. 

Jaeyoon's momentary confusion replaces itself with pure excitement and happiness. He snuggles Inseong into a tight hug, mugs long empty and discarded on the floor. He peppers the defenceless Inseong with kisses, using the opportunity to pin him down. Inseong squeals and giggles, prompting Jaeyoon to continue his attack. 

"Okay, okay, you big puppy. Stop!" Inseong laughs, pushing his hands against Jaeyoon. He eventually gives in, to find an unamused Hyunjin, sitting on the left of Jaeyoon, browsing the tv. Inseong laughs embarrassed. 

The cake tasting event Jaeyoon organized was a success by Inseongs standards. Turns out free cakes go like fresh buns, forcing Inseong to quickly bake another batch of cakes. While their design wasn't as pretty, their taste was still amazing.

They got a few Christmas cake orders; mainly local ajumma's buying for their busy children. Jaeyoon handled all the promotion and business side of things, while Inseong baked the cakes. Hyunjin and Mari helped whenever they could too, making emergency runs to the store for more flour, or spreading information to their peers. 

It seems that winters finally come once again; finishing the last cake order Inseong stretches, enjoying the opportunity to relax. Baking cakes for a living is something Inseong could get used to. Ideas of different pastries he could bake constantly pop up in his mind. For now it's only the beginning. 

Inseong takes in the festive feeling of their house. It's not the cute decorations per se, but the radiant warmth of the sight of Jaeyoon, Hyunjin and Mari napping in a pile, by the fire. He silently takes a picture, setting it as his lock screen, smiling to himself. He finds a spot in the bundle; resting his head on Jaeyoon's stomach, beside Mari. With closed eyes he listens to Jaeyoon's steady breathing, and it luls him to sleep. 

The warmest winter is together.


End file.
